I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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