he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
PS: I just woke up from my shower
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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