Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
