So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
