Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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