she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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