Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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