Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
