if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
