onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
