I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
