How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
