talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
