everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i out mim tonsoeep
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
