oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize