How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
