i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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