Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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