How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
