I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
