with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
