Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I am one with the molecules
I'm experimenting with sincerity
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize