Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
