He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
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