O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
