i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We just shotgunned beers for America
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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