New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
