I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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