Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
