he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
