I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
