She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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