just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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