Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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