Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
