I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
this hospital has no fireball
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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