We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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