No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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