oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
