Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
