he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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