saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
