On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
