Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize