He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
