Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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