Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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