Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
