that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
