I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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