I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
