school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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