Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
