If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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