Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
