too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
