Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
