I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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