i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
