Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
