You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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