I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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