Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
