We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
