Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
