My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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