Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore

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(443): View more from Maryland

this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home

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(406): View more from Montana

It tasted better than Jesus's hair.

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(912): View more from Georgia

I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero

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