I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
