This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
