I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You ate ashes out of my bong
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
