thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
