I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
